I'LL FUCKING KILL YOU!!!
I don’t usually like to blog to rant and rave. I leave that to the people who need to be angry at strangers who read their shit. You know the type of uptight assholes I am referring to…the people who sigh loudly and tap their feet when you have 11 items in the 10 items or less lane at the W. Dixie at 3 a.m. (You know who you are, over-bleached, blonde-haired bitch! I’ll fucking kill you the next time you tell me that my 2-for-1 bagels count as two items. I’LL FUCKING KILL YOU! lol)
I am not that kind of blogger.
I like to talk to my readers.
I like to fucking relate.
Hi. How you doin’? I’m goobs. Let’s chat.
Goobs [gewbs] |noun|:
A writer. A thinker. A radical. A ninja. A cook. A lover AND a fighter. A 305'er. A dreamer. A silly heart. A bad singer. A reader. An MC. A good girl gone bad. A poet. A mother's daughter. A total badass. A dancer. A warrior. A blogger. A swimmer in the ocean of the Internets. A rebel. A boxer. A shopper. A smartass. A smut queen. A doer of the impossible. A philanthropist. A lover of animals. A sailor. A potty mouth. A drinker. A green witch of Narnia. A tough chick. An amazing pair of blouse bunnies. A goobs. An antisteez'er. A force of nature.